How to Stop Porn Addiction
July 29, 2025
Contributors to this story:
James Sherer, M.D.
Maybe it started as a way to unwind at the end of a long day. But now you’re finding it harder to stop. You tell yourself it’s not a big deal, but it’s creeping into your work hours, interrupting your relationships, and leaving you feeling disconnected or ashamed.
Porn addiction is something many people struggle with in silence. One study found that “roughly 11 percent of men and 3 percent of women reported some agreement with the statement, 'I am addicted to pornography.'" The issue is complicated, and despite how many people it impacts, it can often feel isolating.
To better understand what porn addiction is – and how to stop it – we spoke with James Sherer, M.D., deputy chief medical officer at Hackensack Meridian Health Carrier Clinic, who specializes in mental health and addiction care.
How Do You Know If You’re Addicted to Porn?
Maybe you have an inkling that your porn use is getting out of hand, but how do you know for sure? Everyone has different boundaries and values when it comes to sexuality and privacy, which can make it tricky to recognize when porn use crosses the line into something more serious.
Dr. Sherer encourages people to start by answering these important questions:
- Is the way you're using porn distressing to you?
- Does it not go along with your morals – with how you see yourself as a person?
- Is it against your values?
If your porn use feels at odds with who you are or what you believe in, that’s a red flag. But values alone don’t tell the full story. You also need to look at how it’s affecting your daily life by answering these questions:
- Is porn use preventing you from being the best version of yourself that you could possibly be? The best husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter or friend?
- Is it jeopardizing your work?
- Has it caused any legal issues?
If the answer to any of those questions is yes, it may be time to take action in stopping your porn addiction.
How to Stop Porn Addiction: First Steps
If you’ve identified that porn use has become a problem, what comes next?
The first step, Dr. Sherer says, is to set a clear, realistic goal. That goal will depend on how severely your porn use is affecting your life.
“If the problem is quite severe and you are really failing in your major role obligations, a reasonable goal would be abstinence,” Dr. Sherer says. “If it's not necessarily preventing you from fulfilling those obligations, then maybe your goal is to cut back or use in a more sustainable way.”
When choosing your goal, focus on getting aligned with your values and priorities. Some people can adjust their habits with effort and boundaries. Others may try to stop but find they can’t. If that’s the case, Dr. Sherer recommends seeking professional help, just as you would for any health condition.
“If you're pursuing your goal and you can't hit it and you're still suffering, you really need to be open to professional help,” he says. “It’s no different than how we approach other conditions, such as diabetes. With that health condition, if diet and exercise aren't enough, you may need medication and a team.”
What Not to Do: Ignore the Problem
Remember that the signs of porn addiction can sometimes seem subtle. But ignoring them can lead to serious emotional consequences.
One of the most common emotional threads Dr. Sherer sees is hopelessness – the belief that you can’t stop, even if you want to. That feeling of powerlessness can spiral into deeper mental health struggles, including self-harm or suicidal thoughts.
"With porn addiction, you're kind of forced to engage in this behavior that you feel is not in line with who you are,” says Dr. Sherer. “That can lead to worsening depression, anxiety, hopelessness, isolation, guilt and shame.”
The good news? That hopelessness isn’t permanent, and it’s exactly what professional help is designed to address.
Final Takeaways: You’re Not Powerless
If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed by your relationship with porn, know this: You’re not the only one. Many people quietly struggle with the same questions, the same guilt, the same pull between values and habits. But real change is possible – with the right insight, support and next steps.
Keep these key takeaways in mind:
- Signs of addiction include emotional distress, compulsive behavior and difficulty functioning in your role as a partner, parent or employee.
- Set a clear goal – whether it’s to cut back or quit completely – and track your progress.
- If you can't meet your goal on your own, it may be time to seek professional help. Treatment is available and effective.
- You're not powerless. With support, many people successfully overcome porn addiction and build a life that aligns with their values.
“There are people out there who have struggled with this and who have gotten over it,” Dr. Sherer says. “The solutions are different for everyone, but it’s absolutely possible.”
You don’t have to stay stuck. If your current habits are keeping you from the life you want, take the first step toward healing. Help is just a conversation away.
Next Steps & Resources
- To make an appointment with a doctor near you, call 800-822-8905 or visit our website.
- Learn more about our behavioral health services.
The material provided through HealthU is intended to be used as general information only and should not replace the advice of your physician. Always consult your physician for individual care.
